Thoughts on a passing

The past couple days I've spent talking to friends and family about my Dad's passing on. I'd like to share some of that with you. Maybe you'll find it interesting; maybe you'll find it morbid. But I'd like for people to know that Pops passed on surrounded by Love.

First a little background: around the turn of the century Dad had been diagnosed with Parkinson's. Over the past few years he's successfully lived with it. Because of the combination of medicines he had little side effects; most people wouldn't even suspect he was sick. Unfortunately around Christmas time things took a turn for the worse. I'll spare you the details but he went from very healthy and alert to quite ill in what seemed like no time at all. During his last two months, he lived in a nursing home. Dad was happy there; he had a room all to himself. Most importantly, he was never in any pain thru all of this. The staff took very good care of him and was always very pleasant to my family and me. Mom, Noelle, Adam and I stopped by all the time, so he always had a family member at his side.

In his last few weeks he enjoyed the little things with all of us. My friends can tell you, Dad loved his Coca-Cola. We would bring him a bottle and give him a few sips and he'd let out a big sigh and say "Ahhhhhhhhh". While he could still eat solid foods we brought him a pizza from his favorite local pizza place. Over the years Dad went so many times he got to know the owner, Ted, so it was nice that he got to enjoy their pizza one last time.

On Monday (April 10th) I stopped in to see Pops. As I walked in the nurse said to me "Have you talked to your mother?" As my poker buddies know, my face hides nothing, and she must have read it and said “No, he’s still with us but is very, very sick; he’s running a fever and is on oxygen.” I ran over to his room and to his bedside. He couldn’t talk but could acknowledge me. I told him “Dad, I’m going to call Mom and Adam. I’ll be RIGHT back, I’m just going outside.” Then I called Mom told her I was at the home (she was on her way); next I called Adam and told him to come immediately. Once I made the calls I went back into the room, held his hand and told him “Mom and Adam are coming, they’ll be here soon.” He struggled, but stayed awake and I talked to him while rubbing his arms (which he loved). About ½ hour later both Mom and Adam had gotten there. Dad knew, he acknowledged them and a few minutes later just fell asleep. We made a few more phone calls to Noelle, telling her that she needed to come home, and some of his friends. He was asleep for a few more hours during which his good friend Warren our close family friends Donna & Gary (they have kids the same age as Adam, Noelle and I) came in. We sat around while he slept; Mom stroked his hand, I rubbed his head and we all told stories about him. Everyone laughed, smiled and talked. He passed about eight o’clock. The last thing he heard on this earth was his loved ones laughing and honoring his memory by telling stories about him.

No one wants to die. I certainly didn't want Pops to pass on. But he was surrounded by loved ones, heard us laughing and talking and got to see us one last time. That’s not a bad way to go…

Before I go, I have two stories for you.

On Tuesday morning Mum and I had to run some errands such as finalize the funeral plans and order flowers. On the way home we stopped at Center Pizza and got a large cheese (Dad's favorite) and told Ted the sad news. When we returned home Mom needed to get some sleep, she hadn't slept the previous night. I told her I would take care of calling the pension, 401K and some friends of his. One of Dad's real close friends was Ronnie whom he used to go to train shows with. I knew that Ronnie lived in Mass but didn't know his last name. I opened Mom's address book to "R" figuring it might be under Ronnie. No such luck. Since I needed something to do, I decided I would go thru every damned page of that book til I found Ronnie. The methodical man would start at the beginning and go page by page. Not I. I randomly opened to a page and lo and behold on that page was Ronnie's phone number and address. That’s one of those things that makes you go "Hmmmm"

Dad loved to collect model trains. As I mentioned earlier he also really enjoyed a cold Coca-Cola. Mom told me that we were going to put two trains in the coffin with him. The two of us went down in the cellar to pick some out. I noticed that Dad had a Coca-Cola boxcar. How perfect I thought! We opened it up and it had Santa on it (he also LOVED Christmas) and the worlds "Coca-Cola: Wherever you go...” You don't get more perfect than that.